The Top 10 Reasons I Lost Last Night....

10. Too many backhand volleys. Refer to my last post.

9. The old men yelling next to me "CAN YOU PLEASE SAY THE SCORE LOUDER." The other guy replies "MAYBE YOU OUGHTA JUST TURN UP THE BELL TONE." True Story. 75 year old men almost in a fist fight over a nice game of tennis. Thanks for keeping it quiet during my match.

8. I was too busy thinking about Breaking Dawn. What the crap has the world come to?

7. I couldnt help but wonder how my tennis shorts got so far up my crack, within the first 5 minutes of the game.

6. I was too busy yelling words like Sh** and Dam*** to remember the score. For all i know i could have won that match and my opponent just decided not to tell me.

5. After losing, I hit a ball so hard that it went into the pool area almost hitting a gentleman directly in the forehead. Just my luck he worked at the club, but let me go with a warning. I apologized after. But only because it was the right thing to do.Had it been my way, I would have simply said "Nice catch."

4. Birth control. It makes you do things that you would never have done previously. Like choking.

3. I have known my opponent since she was 8. It's impossible to want to slaughter someone when you clearly remember their baptism. I was like 15 when she was baptized. Do the math. I should be beating people half my age.

2. Wii doesnt cut it. You can practice on the Wii all you want but you will never be tournament ready. Dont believe the lies.

1. I'm married. These days I would be better off entering a "who can gain the most weight after your wedding" competition. But that would be too easy.

So as you can see, last night was a dandy. Thanks to all my family for coming to support me in my time of need. Without all of your love on the bench, i may have thrown a racket and hurt someone. Better luck next time!