Dear Cold sore.
This morning I woke up to a lip full of tingle. Having been a victim of such feelings before, I knew how the day would proceed. Your infestation has not spread as of yet. For now the little devil is lodged right between the peak of my upper lip. If you have ever seen Fun with Dick and Jane, I too resemble a case of botox gone wrong. People at work approach me, and then stare at the ground as they say good morning. I don't know if they think that is more polite. I'd rather them just acknowledge the satanic growth and go about their day. I tried to cover you up with my Maybelline lip polish, shade of "Nude Flash," however it failed and now resembles a glittery ball of embarrassment. The worst part is, I know you will only grow throughout the day as you suck the life out of my face. Jumping from lip to lip until I am a living, walking herpe. My hope with this letter is that you will find a way to go back into hiding. I will give you 3 days to do so, otherwise I am going to use all of Blake's life savings to get my lips lasered at the dentist. Which will be the end of you. Choose Wisely.
Your host, Emily Wilde
5 comments:
that was hilarious, em you should really be a writer!
LOL
Alan gets these too. I asked a pharmacist and they recommend the vitamin "Lysine". She said to take it as soon as you feel it coming! We bought some to give it a try next time Alan starts to get one. SO maybe you should run and get some! She also said that a dr. can give you some pretty good stuff to help with them.
GOOD LUCK
~Nat
Write a book!! I will buy it! You are freaken hilarious! It will better than the next Twilight!
Dear Host Emily,
It's me, your beloved lip lesion. I have decided to heed your warning...this time. I'm feeling rather "generous" with the holidays around the corner and all. But know that deep inside you lurks my poison. Ready to strike at any time and cover your face with greedy, parasite love. Remember, I possess the power to jump from your face to Blake's so keep looking over your shoulder. I'm the who when you ask "Who's There?" I am the answer to "Why me?" "Why Now?"
Ever yours,
Herpalicious
I heard that hand sanitizer works wonders. You could try that. Good Luck. I LOVE reading your posts, even when it is about something a little icky!
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