Thursday, April 24, 2008

6 Cold Sores 8 days Before My Wedding. So fun.


Cold sores are small, painful, fluid-filled blisters or sores that appear on the lips, mouth, or nose that are caused by a virus. The sores can be painful and usually last a few days. Unlike most viral infections, the cold sore virus is not completely eliminated by the body defenses. For this reason, cold sores often recur.


Above is the definition of cold sores. However i think they missed alot of information, so here is the correct definition:
Cold sores are large, inflamed, green-oozing, nostril infesting, lip fungi inducing, no date getting, spots of raging hell. They appear anywhere you touch once your fingers become herpe infested. They are not caused by a virus, they are caused by Satan. The sores are always painful and can last several months if you live in Utah. Unlike most other bodily infestations, these ones never leave your system. Good luck having them into the eternities. Especially you Emily Pugh.
Please pray for me. Otherwise i will be greeting you next week as The Herpe Bride.
PS This is not an actual photo of me right now, this was in January when i was infested with 5 other cold sores. I look much much worse today and was too embarrassed to include an actual photo. Thanks for your time. Orayvwah

7 comments:

Mandy said...

Holy crap! This could be the funniest thing on your blog so far. But you forgot to include the many home-remedies people have invented for cold sores...I mean, the "Smite of Satan." Some such remedies include: Baking Soda, Brake Cleaner, Carb Cleaner, Match Burning, Rubbing Alcohol, Urine, Ice, Tea Bags, Coconut Oil, Salt, Witch Hazel, Aloe Vera, Lemon Balm and various other herbs. And yes, that HERBS not to be confused with HERPS, like HERPES! HA HA HA HA!!

Jared Pugh said...

Helllllo Mutthole, I would be happy to provide my services of the 'ol brake parts cleaner on a rag! I have personally tried this remedy and it does work! I would also be happy to provide you with a urine sample as well! Good luck herpes head!

Bateman's Latest Kill said...

I feel your pain one time both of my lips were one big cold sore and I would drool all day and I couldn't smile when I would wake up in the morning they would be crusted together. Jake uses brake cleaner on his I would not however reccomend this.

Anonymous said...

i love you girl! i'm hiding at home in my bed because i have this nasty cold sore on top of my nose! It throbs and stings like hell. I feel like a freak because i don't know anybody who has the same thing -- especially on the top of the nose.

i'm so glad i found you -- someone who knows how it feels like to have a freaking cold sore!

Lauren Makes Faces said...

I have a satan blister from hell too. Just erupted out of nowhere yesterday and it hurts like a MOFO!!!! I am going to try the brake fluid tomorrow morning. I hope this one doesn't hang on for
a solid month like the last one did! So many F-bombs were dropped during that time!

Eczema Treatment said...

Cold sores, also known as fever blisters or herpes labialis happen on the gums, mouth, and lips. The causative virus is Herpes simplex type 1. This virus is contagious and can simply be passed on from one infected person to another.

Elizabeth Sanchez said...

I have a perfect cold sores remedies. Is there anybody want to know that secret?

PONG-A-RIFIC

Emily's Blog full of Newsssssss. Woo.


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